There’s Gonna Be a Weddin!

So, my dad and step-mom have finally picked a date to officially tie the knot and on Labor Day weekend, I will roll my ass out of bed for a sunrise wedding (because they hate me). Their only request: that all guests wear a thrift-store purchased Hawaiian shirt to the ceremony. Also, Stepmom asked if I would pick up some tiki torches and lanterns on a string. Is this another drug induced matrimony, or am I being paranoid?